Good Day, this is Kerry Anne Cassidy of Kerry Anne Cassidy and today I want to talk to you about “Conflict”.
Conflict is a topic I deliver on regularly. And, it’s a difficult topic because of our past experiences. It’s a difficult topic because it causes us to draw on our higher level skills to deal with it and this is not always easy when our gut reaction is saying, “I want to tear your eyeballs out!”
What I’d like to share with you today are 5 levels that conflict moves through, which if you can identify and understand where your conflict lies, you can work out strategies to overcome the conflict.
“THE HARDER THE CONFLICT, THE MORE GLORIOUS THE TRIUMPH” – THOMAS PAINE.
Level 1: DISCOMFORT
The first level of conflict is called DISCOMFORT. This is where something has happened. It is often small and insignificant - you did not like it but you have walked away from it without it leaving any lasting impression on you.
Level 2: INCIDENT
If you leave conflict to fester, the next level that will occur will be an INCIDENT. This is where a sharp, short exchange happens between you and another individual where once again there is no lasting impression.
Level 3: MISUNDERSTANDING
Due to the fact that you have already had a discomfort with this same individual, you may well find yourself having some sort of MISUNDERSTANDING with this person. This is the next level of conflict.
This is probably the most difficult part of the conflict situation because I now start to see you through the lens of my misunderstanding. So for example if I walk away from an incident thinking, “that person is untrustworthy”, I will struggle to see you as trustworthy going forward.
Level 4: TENSION
If you don’t deal with the misunderstanding, you will tend to move into the next level pretty quickly, which is TENSION. Tension is where you start to walk around on eggshells around a person: you are not sure what is going to set them off and you are not sure how you should be speaking to them, so you start acting in ways that are not congruent with who you are and it causes all sorts of problems.
Level 5: CRISIS
Finally, the last level of a conflict is where we reach a crisis. At its most extreme, a crisis could end in death, but it could also mean the end of a relationship, or the end of a career or a job.
So that’s it folks. We have covered off the 5 levels of a conflict. What you need to do is to identify where your conflict is at in terms of the level, and now you have to work on some strategies. We will talk about these in a future session.
Until next time, I will see you at the top!
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