26 Tips for Working with Domineering Coworkers: How to Influence Assertive Team Mates

Have you ever found yourself in a meeting dominated by one voice? Maybe it’s someone like Jennifer—assertive, outspoken, and eager to share her ideas. While her energy can drive projects forward, it often leaves quieter team members unheard and valuable insights unexplored.

This dynamic isn’t unusual; in fact, 78% of employees report challenges working effectively with highly assertive colleagues.

This article, part of our Influence & Communication Series (be sure to check out "21 Ways on How to Overcome Communication Challenges" for more), provides practical strategies to channel assertive energy positively, ensure every voice is valued, and foster an inclusive and productive workplace culture.

Twelve Practical Strategies for Managing Domineering Coworkers

ONE: Mirror Their Communication Style

What & How: Adjust your communication to be more direct and concise, reflecting the assertive individual's style.

Example: If Jennifer likes brief, factual updates, match her style rather than sharing detailed narratives.

Benefits: Builds rapport and mutual respect.

Challenges: Risk of losing nuance in complex issues. 

TWO: Set Clear Boundaries

What & How: Establish clear rules for interactions, ensuring everyone has a chance to speak.

Example: Implement a two-minute speaking rule in meetings.

Benefits: Ensures fairness and encourages inclusivity.

Challenges: Requires consistency and reinforcement.

THREE: Use Structured Discussions 

What & How: Use formats like round-robin or popcorn rounds to structure conversations.

Example: Each person speaks once before anyone else speaks again.

Benefits: Guarantees balanced participation.

Challenges: May feel unnatural at first.

FOUR: Assign Rotating Roles 

What & How: Rotate roles such as facilitator or "devil’s advocate".

Example: Give quieter members facilitation roles periodically.

Benefits: Empowers quieter members and balances assertive voices.

Challenges: Some individuals might resist relinquishing control.

FIVE: Encourage Healthy Conflict 

What & How: Frame discussions around shared objectives, not personal opinions.

Example: Ask questions like, "How does this align with our team’s goal?"

Benefits: Reduces personal tension, maintains productive dialogue.

Challenges: Requires strong facilitation to stay objective.

SIX: Provide Constructive Feedback Privately 

What & How: Offer feedback one-on-one to address domineering behaviors constructively.

Example: Meet privately to share specific examples and improvement suggestions.

Benefits: Protects dignity, allows for thoughtful reflection.

Challenges: Needs careful handling to avoid defensiveness.

SEVEN: Implement Timed Interactions 

What & How: Use timed turns or talking tokens.

Example: Two-minute talking tokens passed around in team meetings.

Benefits: Ensures everyone has equal opportunity.

Challenges: May initially feel artificial.

EIGHT: Model Inclusive Behaviour 

What & How: Actively demonstrate inclusive leadership practices.

Example: Explicitly acknowledge quieter voices.

Benefits: Sets clear expectations for team dynamics.

Challenges: Consistent modeling requires effort.

NINE: Engage Coaching Support 

What & How: Utilise external coaching to address communication skills.

Example: Schedule individual coaching sessions for assertive employees.

Benefits: Provides professional, neutral guidance.

Challenges: Requires openness and willingness to change.

TEN: Use Affirmative Language

What & How: Recognise positive aspects of assertive contributions first.

Example: “Jennifer, your idea has great energy; let’s also explore other angles.”

Benefits: Reduces defensiveness, increases receptivity.

Challenges: Can be seen as insincere if not genuine.

ELEVEN: Practice Active Listening 

What & How: Encourage active listening by paraphrasing contributions.

Example: Restate Jennifer’s key points before adding new insights.

Benefits: Shows respect and ensures clarity.

Challenges: Requires patience and mindfulness.

TWELVE: Encourage Peer Feedback 

What & How: Create a culture where peers comfortably offer feedback to each other.

Example: Structured feedback sessions or anonymous feedback tools.

Benefits: Fosters openness and continuous improvement.

Challenges: May initially cause discomfort or resistance.

Understanding Influence: Five Tips to Develop Yours

I believe that influence is not about control or manipulation—it’s about building rapport, understanding others, and presenting your ideas in a way that resonates with them. People are more likely to be influenced when they feel heard and respected. We do not need to agree with others, but we do need to understand where they are coming from and have a broad enough perspective to listen and hear them out.

"The art of communication is the language of leadership." – James Humes 

ONE: Understand Their Perspective

• I’ve found that people respond better when they feel valued and understood. Instead of focusing on differences, make time to understand your team, your boss’ your colleagues priorities and motivations.
• Use active listening techniques such as paraphrasing and summarising what they say to ensure they feel heard – and importantly, that you understand what they’re telling you!
• Ask open-ended questions like: “What’s most important to you in this situation?” to foster productive dialogue.

Two: Adapt Your Communication Style

• Some colleagues prefer data-driven arguments, while others respond better to stories and emotional connection. You’ll need to learn how to adjust your approach accordingly.
• If they are fast-paced and results-focused, be concise and direct. If they value relationships, take time to build rapport before diving into business.
• Pay attention to how they communicate and particularly as you grow the relationship, make sure you are mirroring their cues, body language and style in some way to show understanding. I’ve found as you grow in understanding and respect of each other, you don’t need to do this as much anymore, but in the beginning of a relationship, you’ll need to use this strategy to build trust as you get to know them.

THREE: Find Common Ground

• Identify shared values, goals, or challenges to build trust. Even when viewpoints differ, mutual alignment creates a stronger foundation for influence.
• Highlight the mutual benefits of your suggestions to create a win-win scenario.

FOUR: Demonstrate Credibility and Confidence

• People respect those who project competence and conviction. Present well-researched, logical arguments to support your ideas.
• Stay consistent in your actions and words—this builds trust over time.

FIVE: Use Social Proof

• If someone is skeptical, provide examples of others who have successfully adopted similar approaches, or where you yourself have had success in the past.
• Referencing industry trends, research, or respected leaders can reinforce your credibility – but its got to be authentic and appropriate to the conversation. 

Three Tips From the Experts:

Dr. Amy Edmondson, author of The Fearless Organisation, emphasises the importance of psychological safety. She points out that truly successful teams encourage participation from everyone—including quieter members.

Simon Sinek, known for Leaders Eat Last, highlights the importance of clarity in purpose: "When team members understand the 'why', even the most assertive personalities are eager to listen."

Patrick Lencioni, in The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, advocates for productive conflict: "Conflict should revolve around shared goals, not personal egos."

SIX Real-Life Global Examples 

1. USA: At a Silicon Valley startup, dominant lead engineer Chris was paired with a rotating “silent partner” facilitator role—ensuring every sprint retro invited equal input.
2. UK: The BBC’s production teams use a “challenge coin” rotated to each member—including assertive directors—to signal turn‑taking in editorial meetings.
3. Africa: In a Nairobi NGO, team leads adopt shared “circle check‑in” rituals, so outspoken coordinators like Amina open and close each session, but cannot speak twice without rotation.
4. Europe: A Munich automotive firm assigns “devil’s advocate” to introverted engineers during design reviews, balancing Hans’s bold proposals with Marina’s detailed questions.
5. Australia & NZ: At a Brisbane consultancy, senior partner Lee structures meetings with timed talking tokens—ensuring even vocal consultants yield space after 2 minutes.
6. South America: In São Paulo, marketing teams follow a “yes‑and” improvisation rule: Roberto’s strong ideas are amplified but must include a direct acknowledgement of the previous quieter idea.

Reflective Leadership Prompts

As you integrate these strategies, consider these reflective questions to enhance your leadership:

1. How have you adapted your approach when working with someone more assertive? Reflect on the outcomes.
2. Think of a recent meeting that felt dominated by one voice. What could you do differently next time to foster inclusivity?
3. Where can you set clearer boundaries within your team to empower quieter voices?
4. Which team member might benefit from being assigned a leadership or facilitator role this week?
5. Who in your team could benefit from increased responsibilities this week?

Faith-based Reflection Questions:

• How can your faith inform the way you manage dominant voices?
• In what ways does humility play a role in inclusive leadership?

Summary: Bringing It All Together

Managing and influencing domineering coworkers is not about changing who they are—it's about learning how to lead with strategy, awareness, and compassion. 

1. In this article, we’ve explored 12 practical approaches for managing assertive personalities, ranging from adapting your communication style to implementing structured meeting tools and offering constructive feedback. 
2. We’ve looked at how understanding influence, reflecting on shared goals, and creating a psychologically safe environment can support inclusive team dynamics (that's another 5 tips!).
3. You’ve also seen six real-life examples from around the world—from the BBC’s “challenge coin” to Google’s structured retrospectives—showing that these techniques are not theoretical. They work.
4. With a final three expert insights from Dr. Amy Edmondson, Simon Sinek, and Patrick Lencioni, and support from faith-based reflection and practical questions, this article equips you to lead diverse teams with wisdom and grace - with 26 tips in total.

Action Steps to Apply What You've Learned

1. Choose 1–2 strategies to implement this week – Start with what's easiest to apply (like structured discussions or mirroring communication style).
2. Reflect with your team – Use the leadership and faith-based prompts provided to spark conversation in your next team check-in or coaching session.
3. Share the article – With a colleague or leader in your organisation who may be struggling with assertive team dynamics.
4. Schedule a 1:1 coaching conversation – Identify one high-impact relationship where you can apply these tips and seek feedback.
5. Print or post the 12 strategies – Keep them visible on your team’s digital hub or workplace wall to reinforce learning.

Remember: domineering team members aren't roadblocks—they’re powerful allies when approached strategically. It’s not about silencing the strong; it’s about uplifting the whole.

Take Your Leadership to the Next Level

Are you ready to refine your influence and leadership impact? Whether you’re looking for tailored executive coaching, corporate training, or group leadership development, I can help you and your team navigate complex workplace dynamics with confidence.

1:1 Leadership Coaching – Personalised strategies to elevate your executive presence.
Corporate Training Programs – Practical, results-driven leadership workshops for teams.
Customised Group Coaching – Targeted sessions to enhance communication and influence within teams.

Explore your Signature Leadership Style quiz and dive deeper with our Overcoming Communication Challenges article.

RECOMMENDED related articles:

• 21 Ways on How to Overcome Communication Challenges - using your Signature Leadership Style
• How to Deal with Difficult Personalities at Work
• How to Have Positive Performance Conversations